Putrid Pete

​  Shailene balled up her fists. She could feel her cheeks reddening as she stared at her husband. 

​  “Tell me you did not do this,” she hissed. 

​  “Oh I did it,” Drake said. “That girl thinks she’s ready to date? We’ll let her see how bad dating can be.” 

​  He turned toward the stairs and yelled. 

​  “Melissa, I told you to get dressed and get down here and I meant it!” 

​  “I’m putting on my shoes, dad!” Missy yelled back. 

​  Shailene grabbed him by the shoulder and turned him around. 

​  “Explain this to me, Drake. You what, got on some teen chat room and pretended to be a teenage girl?” 

​  “Give me a break, Shailene. How stupid do you think I am? Of course, I didn’t go into some chat room.” 

​  She took a breath, relaxing a bit. 

​  “I logged onto that game they all play, Gameblox, and I pretended to be a girl from their school. Once I found out who the nerdiest, lowdown geeks were in the school, I convinced one of them that Melissa wanted to date them.” 

​  Shailene shook her head and stepped back. 

​  “You’re going to prison,” she said. 

​  Drake rolled his eyes. 

​  “Always so dramatic,” he said. “You’re gonna love this boy I picked out. The kids at school call him Putrid Pete. Apparently, he’s got breath so bad that medical doctors are stumped by it. Melissa will have such a terrible date, she won’t want to go out with another boy until she’s twenty-five!” 

​  Stomping down each and every step to show her frustration, Melissa descended into the living room. She looked from her mom to her dad, her anger giving way to concern. 

​  “What’s going on?” she asked. “Why did I have to get all dressed up?” 

​  Moving into action before Shailene could ruin everything, Drake rushed over to Melissa. 

​  “You know how you’re always begging us to let you start dating and we keep saying no?” 

​  “Uh huh,” she said, putting her hands on her hips. 

​  “Well, we’ve changed our minds,” Drake said. “Not only can you date, but there’s a boy from your school coming over to pick you up right now.” 

​  Melissa recoiled and shook her head, her whole face scrunching up. 

​  “Hold on. You… Wait. You-” 

​  KNOCK KNOCK 

​  “He’s here!” Drake said, shimmying in place. 

​  “Either him or the FBI,” Shailene muttered. 

​  Drake ignored her and rushed to the door. 

​  “Dad, no. Wait,” Melissa said. 

​  Before she could protest further, he flung the door open. Standing there was something he hadn’t expected. Pete was as nerdy and geeky as expected, but he wore an outfit so shocking and superb that Drake was stunned. The pants were a bright purple pleather, and tucked into them was the most resplendent golden silk shirt Drake had ever laid eyes on. It shone so brightly that he felt wealthier just staring at it. In his hands, Pete held a bouquet of lilacs, Melissa’s favorite flower. Sure, the kid had a nerdy face, but anyone who could dress like this and came equipped with a bouquet of flowers was a winner in Drake’s book. He beamed as he stared at the youth. All those months infiltrating the teens on Gameblox hadn’t been a waste. He’d gone and stumbled upon his future son-in-law.

​  Then Pete ruined everything by opening his mouth.

​  “Is Melissa home?” 

​  A thick green smoke billowed from his mouth. It struck Drake, and he whipped his head back and retreated several steps. But the putrid smoke had him now, and there was no escaping it. A fiery sting hit his eyes, and his vision blurred. The stench of it was unlike anything he’d ever experienced. It was chemical warfare, and as he breathed more of it in his body cried out in rebellion. Drake fell over. 

​  “Now who’s dramatic?” Shailene asked, watching her husband writhe around on the floor. 

​  Drake used the coffee table to push himself back onto his feet, but immediately wobbled and stumbled. He pitched forward and vomited, spewing the contents of his stomach onto the 75-inch television. 

    Ignoring her father, Melissa stepped toward the front door. 

​  “Pete?” she asked. 

​  The kid nodded and smiled. 

​  “I brought you lilacs.” 

​  “How’d you know I loved lilacs?” Melissa asked, taking another step closer. 

​  “You mentioned it once in Mrs. Handley’s class in sixth grade.” 

​  Every time he spoke, more of the toxic green smoke poured out. Despite that, Melissa smiled. 

​  “You’re so sweet. And so well dressed.” 

​  She walked toward the front door. Drake moved to stop her, but his body spasmed, and he dropped to his knees, puking again. 

​  “Honey,” he rasped, arm shaking as he reached for Melissa. “No.” 

​  She walked right by, directly into the cloud of smoke. But she smiled and took Pete’s outstretched hand.  

​  “Are you… immune?”

​  “Let’s go,” Melissa said, taking Pete’s hand and heading out the door.  

​  Drake collapsed and dry heaved. He heard a car start, then pull away. He forced himself back onto his feet just in time to see Shailene hunch over the sink and vomit. The putrid stench of the boy’s breath had reached her. Tears poured from her eyes as she turned to look at him. 

​  “Go save our daughter!” 

​  Barely able to see through burning, blurry eyes, Drake stumbled to the front door. He grabbed his car key and ran to the driveway. The car rumbled to life, and he slammed it into reverse. He threw up again, the foul ejection covering his steering wheel and back-up camera screen. His body spasmed, causing him to shove his foot down on the accelerator. The car zipped backward. Drake fought the wheel, trying to keep it straight, but it was slick with vomit, and his fingers slipped. The car exploded through their brick mailbox, then shook violently as it went off the curb. It shot across the street and crashed into the side of the neighbor’s brand-new pick-up truck. The airbag exploded from the wheel, breaking bones in Drake’s face as he smashed into it. 

​  The car door popped open, and Drake fell out onto the street. Blood poured from his broken nose, and as he slipped into unconsciousness, he wondered if maybe this whole thing had been a bad idea.