Ug-roll

​  Ug stood at the top of the hill. He grunted as he stared at his incredible invention. Stone wheels were the latest craze amongst the tribe. Even now, Ug could hear the others hammering away with their stone chisels, shaping more of the rocks into the newly discovered circular shape. He peered down upon them, scratching his thick, unkempt beard as he watched their pathetic efforts. The few who crafted a stone wheel had no idea what to use it for. Bu tried to stand on one of the wheels, but it rolled out from under him, sending him hard onto the rocky earth. Ko stuck his foot out and rolled a wheel over it. He howled in pain as the heavy stone wheel crushed him. 

  “Dumb,” Ug said. 

  Not like Ug. Ug was un-dumb. He turned to marvel at his invention once more. Two stone wheels, connected by several tree limbs. Vine lashings held the limbs together, and they were stuck to the wheels using dried mud. In the center was a small platform. He called the invention the Ug-roll. 

  Ug climbed on the Ug-roll, then used his foot to push it toward the edge of the hill. It went over the edge, immediately picking up speed. Ug crouched low, using all of his might to keep from being knocked from his position on the Ug-roll. Hearing the heavy contraption, many tribemates turned to watch. Ug beat his chest with one hand. 

  “Ug-roll!” he yelled. 

  Lacking the good sense to get out of the way, several of his tribemates got wiped out by the Ug-roll. At first, it was just tripping people who didn’t understand the way the limbs connected the two wheels. But then old one Ka shuffled into his path. The Ug-roll didn’t have any braking system to speak of, and all Ug could do was wince as the fast-moving contraption rolled right over the elderly woman. 

  “Bad Ug!” someone yelled. 

  He ignored them. Ug was not bad. He was the maker of the Ug-roll. If anything, Ug was quite good. After crashing into two more people, the Ug-roll came to a stop. Ug stood tall, then leapt off the Ug-roll and did a spin in the air. His tribemates regarded him with frowns. 

  “Envy bad,” Ug said. 

  This somehow made them angrier. More tribemates gathered around, many grunting and pointing at the Ug-roll. 

  “It good,” Ug said. 

  Reaching into his sweaty loincloth, Ug pulled out a handful of worms and bugs. All the tribe people stopped what they were doing, many licking their lips as they saw the bounty of bugs. The mammoth meat had spoiled weeks ago, and so far, the hunters had found nothing that could replace it as the tribe’s food source. 

  Oblivious to the hungry eyes upon him, Ug began eating the worms and bugs, shoving over half of them into his mouth. Pu, a female tribe member, began to cry. Ug gave her a dirty look. 

  “Ug dug bugs. Ug eat dug bugs. Pu want bugs? Pu dig bugs. Pu no have Ug’s dug bugs.” 

  His hurtful words upset more than just Pu. Da and Vu spit at Ug. Finishing off the last of his worms, Ug waved his arms at them in a rude gesture, then hopped back on the Ug-roll. 

  “You bad. Ug good. Ug go find cooler cave.” 

  Using his foot to propel himself, Ug took off on the Ug-roll. On his way out of the small settlement, he saw old one Gu starting a fire. Leaning to the right, Ug caused the Ug-roll to shift directions. As it rolled past old Gu, Ug made sure the Ug-roll’s wheel hit old Gu. The funny prank quickly turned serious when old Gu fell face-first into the fire. 

  “Oops,” Ug said. 

  All the tribe members shook their fists and yelled angry grunts. Ug threw up a peace sign. 

  “Ug out,” he said. 

  The Ug-roll carried him out into the night, deeper into the canyon than he’d ever explored. Eventually, the terrain leveled out, and the Ug-roll became a lot less fun. After pushing it with his foot for an hour, Ug eventually picked it up. By the time he found a cave to sleep in, he was drenched in sweat and quite tired. He dropped the Ug-roll, curled up on the stone ground, and fell to sleep. 

  The sound of something breaking woke him. Ug looked around the dark cave, fearful that a sabretooth tiger or a dracon had come to devour him. But what he saw was far more upsetting than even those possibilities. His old tribemates were gathered around the Ug-roll, battering it with their clubs. 

  Ug stood and ran toward them. 

  “Stop hit!” he yelled. 

  He skidded to a stop as the tribe did as he asked. They turned to face him, and he could see it in their eyes that the Ug-roll wasn’t the only thing they’d come to break. He held up his hands and forced a big smile onto his face. 

  “Ug apologize?” 

  They rushed him, and the first club hit knocked him to the ground. He curled up in a ball as the club battering began. Tears filled his eyes and he stared up at the stars. 

  “Ug go heaven?” he cried out. 

  He received no answer.