Dr. Kubridoscevekianballastario

  “I see your shape is um, how you say, very poor,” Dr. Kubridoscevekianballastario said, using his hands to pantomime a plump shape in the air. 

  Lindsey frowned. Even though her doctor was difficult to understand, she trusted and adored him. He’d been her doctor for almost two decades and had helped her through some difficult times. 

  “I know, Dr. Kubridoscevekianballastario. What if I started walking daily? Would that help?” 

  He frowned as he took a long look at her. 

  “You must walk many way. Many many steps. Hundreds of thousands.” 

  She’d been wanting to make a change in her life, and Lindsey found herself liking the idea of this challenge. But why stop at a hundred thousand steps?

  “What if I walk a million steps?”

  Dr. Kubridoscevekianballastario cackled. He slapped his knee several times, and eventually Lindsey laughed too. 

  “If you walk one million, you become, how you say, a tricycle,” the doctor said, still laughing. 

  Lindsey scrunched up her face. 

  “A tricycle? I don’t think that’s what you meant to say.” 

  The doctor started moving his arms like flapping wings. 

  “It is, uh, mythical. Um, how you say, mythical?” 

  She shook her head, still not understanding. Dr. Kubridoscevekianballastario then started moving his hands as if he had a horn coming out of his head. 

  “Mythical,” he repeated. “Very neat. Very very neat.” 

  “Are you… are you talking about a unicorn? Or like, a pegasus?” Lindsey asked. 

  Dr. Kubridoscevekianballastario laughed again. He pointed at her and nodded. 

  “You walk one million, then you will see. Movement will be like, ah…” he paused and did the ‘chef’s kiss’ motion. “Movement will be so easy. Transformed. Into a tricycle.” 

  “Tricycle? Or pegasus?” Lindsey asked. 

  Dr. Kubridoscevekianballastario nodded and smiled. 

  “Mythical. Will be very good.” 

  After she returned home, Linsdey spent hours researching realistic walking goals. Experts suggested getting 10,000 steps done a day. At that rate, it would take her 100 days to hit a million steps. She didn’t just want to shed a few pounds, she wanted to experience a full body transformation. Her searches turned more extreme. How many steps can a human take in a day, most extreme walking plans ever attempted, how many steps do you take climbing a mountain. By the end of the night, a new fire roared inside of her. She had hundreds of dollars of exercise gear ordered from an online website, and a plan. One million steps in one month, capped off by a sunrise hike to the peak of Mt. Mansfield, just a short drive from her home in Vermont. 

  Going from barely exercising to trying to average 33,000 steps a day proved to be a nearly impossible goal. Including breaks, it took her almost nine hours to hit the goal on the first few days. On day three, she barely hit 20,000, her body so sore that she cried herself to sleep that night. She almost quit a hundred different times that first week, but she wanted what Dr. Kubridoscevekianballastario had promised. She wanted a life where movement was easy. 

  In week two, the pain didn’t go away, but she found she was able to reach the 33,000 steps faster. By the end of the week she'd even made up for the 13,000 steps she’d missed on day three. Her daily posts on social media with updates on her progress received a barrage of worried comments from her friends and family. But on day 14, a comment showed up that gave her renewed commitment. It was from Dr. Kubridoscevekianballastario and it said “You are doing it. You are transforming.” 

  Nearing the end of week three, Lindsey was taking her nightly recovery bath, and a thought occurred to her. She was going to succeed. Her body was in agony, but she didn’t care. This was the price to achieve her goal and she was willing to pay it. Over the next few days, she barely felt the pain anymore. Her total steps soared, and on the final day of the month she was ready for the big accomplishment. 

  She pulled into the Mount Mansfield State Forest at 2 am. By her painstaking calculations, she would hit her millionth step right as she reached the summit. If everything went according to plan, the sun would be rising at that exact moment. Everything she’d suffered through would be worth it. 

  It took four hours, but as she neared the summit the first rays of sunlight were peaking over the horizon. She rushed forward, letting out a triumphant scream as she took the final step up onto the summit. The smartwatch on her wrist beeped, indicating she’d hit the goal. One million steps. 

  Lindsey raised her arms high into the air. Tears of joy started to slip from her eyes. Then a tremendous pain tore across her abdomen. She hunched over and clutched her torso, trying to figure out what was going on. It didn’t feel like a cramp. Then her legs broke and bent backwards. Lindsey screamed as she collapsed to the ground. Her head sank low and started retreating into the top of her body, like a human turtle. More bones broke as her body folded over, transforming into something new. Soon, the sound of breaking bones was replaced by the groan of bending metal. 

  A minute later, a tricycle stood where Lindsey had been moments before. She could still see, two slits in the handlebars providing eye holes. When she spoke, her voice came out as a series of squeaks through the small horn attached to the handlebars. 

  “What have you done to me, Dr. Kubridoscevekianballastario?” she asked, her horn voice a jumble of squeaks to human ears. 

  A heavy wind kicked up, and the tricycle rolled. Another gust hit, and the tricycle went over the edge. A loud squeaking noise sounded out, echoing off the side of the mountain. But when the tricycle slammed into a boulder halfway down, the squeaking ceased.